I haven’t been very active over the Christmas period. Apart from a few coaching calls, I’ve taken a proper break from work to spend time with family and juggle the usual festive logistics.
We hosted nine people for dinner on Christmas Day. Usually, that level of logistics is a minefield for executive functioning. The timing, the multi-tasking, the pressure – it’s a perfect recipe for ADHD overwhelm.
But oddly enough, this year it didn’t throw me.
Reflecting back, I realise it wasn’t a fluke. It was the result of applying the exact principles I talk about with my clients. Here is what worked.
Leaning on Systems, Not Memory
Part of the success was familiarity – make roast dinners often, so the steps weren’t brand new.
But mostly, I leaned heavily on external systems. I wrote down every single timing. I didn’t try to hold the plan in my head. By externalising the executive function tasks, I freed up mental energy to actually do the cooking (and enjoy the day).
The Power of “Good Enough”
The biggest game-changer, however, was a conscious choice to make it easier.
I actively applied the “good enough” principle. I bought pre-made Yorkshire puddings and pigs in blankets. I thought about making cranberry sauce, then decided against it. I didn’t even make the stuffing.
In the past, my perfectionism would have screamed that this was “cheating” or subpar. But the result? It was delicious. Nobody cared that I hadn’t hand-rolled the stuffing.
More importantly, because I wasn’t running around stressed and harassed, the guests didn’t feel put upon. They could actually relax. A calm host makes for a calm gathering.
The Crash vs. Intentional Rest
After Christmas, we spent a few days socialising away from home. I love spending time with people, but as an ADHDer, I am acutely aware of how quickly socialising depletes my battery. By the time we got home, I knew I needed to stop.
So, I planned a full day to do absolutely nothing.
I made sure the family was fed, but apart from that, I sat on the sofa and read a whole book from cover to cover.
The crucial difference here was the intention.
We often confuse “rest” with just “not working.” Usually, when we try to “do nothing” without a plan, we end up pottering around, half-tidying, doom-scrolling, or responding to “just one email.” We fill the time with low-value “busy” work that isn’t productive, but isn’t restful either. We finish the day feeling guilty and sluggish.
But because I had explicitly planned to rest, I didn’t feel a shred of guilt. When I finished that book on the sofa, I had achieved my aim for the day. It felt like an accomplishment, not a failure of productivity.
Carrying it Forward
It was a good reminder that we have to schedule rest with the same respect we schedule work.
As we head into the new year, I’m going to try and carry that intention forward—scheduling days where the only box to tick is “rest.”
I hope you managed to carve out some space for yourself over the break, too.
How we can work together
I offer one-to-one ADHD coaching for ambitious individuals who are tired of pushing through and want a way of working that actually supports their brain.
If you’re curious about coaching but not ready to commit to a full package, I also offer one-off 90-minute sessions – a great way to get a taste of what coaching can feel like. Find out more and book here
Want to see if I’m the right coach for you? You can:
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- Or book a free 30-minute call here (We’ll talk about what you’re struggling with and whether coaching might be the support you need right now)
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