For many of us with ADHD, decision-making can feel like an uphill battle. The overwhelm builds quickly, especially when we’re faced with multiple choices, the fear of making the wrong decision, or the mental fatigue that comes from constantly managing competing priorities. But here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to be this way. When we address the emotional aspects of decision-making, it becomes easier to simplify the process and reduce that overwhelming feeling.
In this blog, I’m going to delve into why it’s so bloody hard to do with ADHD, because understanding what’s going on is key for being kinder to ourselves, and then being able to move forward.
And then I’m going to share with you some strategies that I’ve used (for myself and with my clients) to simplify decisions and move through the uncertainty with more confidence. These strategies are a mix of both logical tools and emotional shifts, because decision-making is as much about emotions as it is about logic.
Why Decision-Making Feels Overwhelming with ADHD
1. Too Many Options: Information overload is common with ADHD. We often gather more data than necessary, making it difficult to narrow down our choices. The more options we have, the more our brains feel cluttered, and that leads to mental paralysis.
Strategy: Narrowing down options is key. For example, instead of spending hours picking from 10 meal ideas, reduce it to 2-3 options. This will help you feel more in control and less mentally drained.
2. Fear of Regret: Perfectionism makes us worry about making the wrong choice. This fear can paralyse us into inaction or cause us to overthink decisions until we’re completely stuck. The stakes feel too high, and the fear of failure looms over every choice.
Strategy: Focus on progress over perfection. Every decision doesn’t need to be flawless. It’s about making the next best step toward what matters most.
3. Mental Fatigue: ADHD requires constant effort to stay organised, and this mental energy can be drained, leaving us feeling overwhelmed when it’s time to decide.
Strategy: Make important decisions in advance, where possible, and at a time when your mental reserves are fresh. It may be first thing in the morning, on a Sunday afternoon ready for the week ahead – but find a way that works for you.
4. Executive Dysfunction: Difficulty prioritising, filtering, and managing competing thoughts leads to analysis paralysis—the feeling of being stuck and unable to make decisions.
Strategy: Break big decisions down into smaller, more manageable steps. Start with the first step, and take it from there. This reduces the overwhelm and gives you clarity. It may be that you need someone to help you with this, and that’s ok.
5. Emotional Barriers: Shame or self-doubt often amplifies overwhelm when decisions feel high-stakes.
Strategy: Recognise these emotional blocks and be gentle with yourself. Understand that decisions don’t need to be perfect, and it’s okay to feel uncertain at times. Making a decision is progress, and that’s what matters.
6. The Impulsivity-Overthinking Trap: ADHDers often grapple with impulsivity, leading to decisions made too quickly and without full consideration of the consequences. After experiencing negative outcomes from impulsive actions in the past, many develop a fear of repeating those mistakes. This fear can push them to overcompensate, leading to overthinking every decision. Instead of rushing, they swing to the opposite extreme, analysing choices to the point of paralysis.
Strategy: Take a pause. Before making any decision, ask yourself: Is this impulsive or overthought? Find a middle ground between rushing and overanalysing.
Another strategy I like to use is ‘gamification‘. Try a pros and cons list, ADHD style: Set a timer for one minute per column and see which list fills up faster. Use colour coding or ticks and crosses for the most important points to make it more fun. Of course, take a moment to review which column feels more meaningful to you, rather than just the length of the lists, but this process can make decision-making feel less like a chore, and more like a quick challenge.
Making Big Decisions: The Emotional Side of Closing My Cake Business
We’ve already discussed why decision-making can feel overwhelming, especially with ADHD, and I’ve shared some strategies to help you get started. But let’s face it – big decisions are never just about logic. They often bring up deep emotions that make it even harder to make a choice.
When I faced the huge decision of whether to close my wedding cake business and focus on building my ADHD coaching practice, I had to go beyond the logical pros and cons. It wasn’t just about numbers or business plans – it was about my emotions. I had a deep love for what I did, but also a need to grow and challenge myself in new ways. This wasn’t just a career decision—it was a values-driven decision, and I knew that addressing my emotional blocks was key to finding clarity.
1. Prioritise What Matters Most: When you’re making a big decision, ADHD can make you want to focus on every little detail. But focusing on everything at once only adds pressure and makes the decision feel even harder.
Action: Ask yourself, What’s the most important factor in this decision?
For me, deciding whether to close my cake business wasn’t just about picking between two careers—it was about aligning with my core values: personal growth, challenge, and helping others. This gave me the clarity I needed to make the decision and move past the overwhelm.
2. What’s the Worst That Could Happen? The fear of making the wrong decision often holds us back, but it’s important to reframe the worst-case scenario.
Action: Ask yourself, What’s the worst possible outcome if I make this decision?
For me, the worst that could happen was that my coaching business didn’t take off as planned. But I realised that I could always go back to making cakes – it wasn’t a skill I’d lose overnight. The decision didn’t have to be permanent. This perspective took the pressure off and gave me the courage to move forward.
3. Embrace the Power of ‘Good Enough’: Perfectionism is a major roadblock to decision-making. It makes us feel like our decisions need to be flawless. But “good enough” is often enough.
Action: Define what “good enough” looks like in your decision-making.
In my case, it wasn’t about having the perfect plan or outcome. It was about making a choice that aligned with my values and goals, trusting myself, and knowing that any adjustments could be made along the way. Defining what “good enough” meant allowed me to stop overthinking and take action.
When to Seek Support
Sometimes, even with all these strategies in place, the emotional weight of decision-making can still hold us back. If you’re feeling stuck in indecision or overthinking, seeking support can be a game-changer.
I help many of my clients navigate this exact issue, especially when they’re feeling stuck between too many options or overwhelmed by the pressure of making the “right” decision. Together, we break down the decision-making process, focus on core values, and set realistic goals, empowering them to make confident choices.
Conclusion
Making decisions doesn’t have to be overwhelming, especially when we address the emotional triggers that hold us back. Simplifying the process and focusing on what truly matters can help you start making confident, informed choices.
If you’re ready to free yourself from decision paralysis, consider seeking support to help you through the emotional blocks that keep you stuck. Start making decisions today, because each one is a step toward clarity, confidence, and progress!
Email me here or DM me on instagram to get started on creating calm amidst the chaos of ADHD. 💌